Another day almost done. Mostly spent in bed sleeping. Not so well today. One thing I managed not to do was PANIC. I have spent a good bit of the last year PANICKING. I have been very flat and disappointed today to feel so weak but NOT PANICKING.
I ordered and sent a gift online for Mad and JB. I am still tense and worried about God knows what. Maybe Xmas is like that for a lot of people. Wanting to show the love I have for them and wondering whether or not I am overspending.
For now, the night is here. A star-filled sky and Eden on Facetime. The pain seems less at night. The depression lighter. The frangipani tree is flashing the coloured lights and I am clean and sober.
Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
Unless we have the key of faith to unlock the meaning of life,
we are lost. We do not choose faith because it is one way for
us, but because it is the only way. Many have failed and will
fail. For we cannot live victoriously without faith; we are at
sea without a rudder or an anchor, drifting on the sea of life.
Wayfarers without a home. Our souls are restless until they
find rest in God. Without faith, our lives are a meaningless
succession of unrelated happenings, without rhyme or reason.
Have I come to rest in faith?