When Should Someone Be Finished Grieving?

My mom died when I was 10 years old. Now I’m a 29 year old man. Having dealt with her loss for nearly 20 years I can tell you that grief does not go away. The intensity of grief may change over time and the characteristics of grief you experience change as well. Yet grief rooted in the death of a loved one never goes away and that is a good thing.Grieving is not about making it end as quickly as possible. Grieving is an essential human process and it should be embraced, not ignored or expedited. As Steve Jobs said, “Death is very likely the single greatest invention of life.” It’s life’s change-agent and you should think about grief as the environment in which change happens. For example, read about Dashrath Majhi in the thread What are the most gripping stories in human history? After the death of his wife this man spent 22 years single-handedly cutting a path through a nearby mountain range so that other villagers could access local medical help more easily. From the loss of his wife this man changed the lives of others. I’m sure that every time he picked up his tools he felt grief yet he was transformed through that process into a humanitarian.My point isn’t that everyone will respond in a similarly monumental fashion. But death changes us and grief is the environment in which that change happens. With that being said I would encourage you to ask the question differently. Don’t ask about how quickly you can end the grief. Instead you should ask “When can I start and what might I experience along the way?”If I were to describe the nature of grief I would describe grief with these words: seasonal, imperceptible yet influential, interminable.

Source: When Should Someone Be Finished Grieving?

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