ONE HOT DAY BEFORE ME

The Promises

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity
and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will
intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us — sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

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URUNGA LAGOON AT DAWN

Today I am going by Community Transport to the Doc at Bellingen to get scripts and maybe chat. The Girls are picking me up from there and we are going to look at their new house which is 1-2 weeks from being finished.

Then we may have lunch and buy me some dinner and some laminating pouches for Saffy’s place mats. Then I am considering taking the Bus home.

I think today will be hot.

I STARTED this post with the Promises because this return from death and coma and bedlam has many of the elements of very early recovery and is responding to the same treatment that my Addiction did in the late 80s and early 90 and often since then.

It takes discipline so it does.

Discipline and Faith and a determined continuance where ceasing at times appeals. The Camera has been a saviour to me. I step back and look at the world through a lens and find the real pleasure in existing. I am in the process of determining whether or not I want a car, whether I can get by happily without one – and one of the determining factors is the internet and the exchange of images and words . If I have enough monthly money for only car OR net, I am beginning to think that I can get by on buses, community transport, the pony Shaz says she will lend me and lifts in company with others as well as my trips away but I would be unhappy without Internet at the level I have now.

So, I consider today a practice run. I shall see what stamina I have. I will see how well the alternatives such as buses work.

Some people react immediately to the idea of life without a car and the reaction is a kind of horror.

Some others see it differently.

Anyways , its an experiment and its on today.

lynne 2

Walk In Dry Places

A year to grow.
Growth.
This new year can be a time of growth in sobriety. While we have no crystal ball that tells us what luck and fortune the year will bring, we do have a program that gives us the power to make the best of this year, to grow in sobriety. We can make progress in overcoming resentment and selfishness, we can help others in their search for happy sobriety, and we can make better use of our talents and opportunities.
We can live sober, and we also can find happiness and true self-esteem in sobriety. In our drinking, a desperate search for happiness and self-esteem compelled us to drink, but we could never find our happy destiny in the bottle. No matter what came to us, things had a way of turning sour as we continued to drink and to take other harmful substances.
In our new life, we have good reason to feel confident and optimistic. We have friends who understand us; we have sponsors who will share with us their own experience and hope. We have a Higher Power who is, as the poet Tennyson said, “closer to us than breathing, and nearer than hands and feet.” We face nothing alone, and in the new year all experiences can help us grow.
I face this day with confidence, courage, and optimism. I will know that my Higher Power is present in every person and situation

http://www.bluidkiti.com/forums/showthread.php?t=8054

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Today is not anything like the Terrible Time that I was in before.

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I FORGOT TO SAY

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I forgot to say that in venturing to the shopping centre which I did today, Rage and Resentment and Hurt came a roaring back. Its shopping that Iz and I did and one of the spices and flavours missing from my daily life now.

I am SOOOOOO angry. SOOOOO lonely for all the little things. The smiles. The purchases. The lack of worries. The Shared Life. The things done easily with 2 of us.

The hand to hold. Today I thought – as one of his songs says – SHIT. BUGGAR BUM.

I AM IN NO MOOD TO BE CONCILIATORY.

I rather think I will not be licking arse much anymore. Tomorrow I just might pick stuff from the garden and put it out the front for people who want it. I have a lot of chillies. And tomatoes and mints and stuff like that. As well as dahlias and gladioli.

I sure as shit need to change somehows. And probably will whilst I sleep tonight.

HOW TO DIE – A TEACHING FROM THE LOTUS-BORN | LEVEKUNST art of life

While we are alive, we need to be realistic and learn about the nature of this mind and how it really is, when it’s free of beliefs and preconceived ideas. I deeply wish that all meditators who spend so many hours sitting and stay in retreats will understand their mind. When this life is over and we face the real challenge, death. We need to be familiar with this topic: what is death? What will happen? Will it hurt? Is there anything after? Will I be okay? Some have given the fact that we die a lot of thought, some ignore it, some try their best to never think of it. Death is the parting of body and mind, and the big fear is what’s going to happen? Because of this worry, people have different beliefs, sound or unfounded: we only live once, death is the final end, there is nothing after, finally the misery ended, he or she has found peace, he or she is in a better place. But such a belief is by definition not very convincing. A belief is just imagination, and not anchored in experienced insight. At best, a belief corresponds to reality; at worst, it can be justification for unspeakable crimes. Whatever we believe, sooner or later the breath will stop and the body is declared dead.

Source: HOW TO DIE – A TEACHING FROM THE LOTUS-BORN | LEVEKUNST art of life