Out the front of my place, is the Lagoon. Its tidal and when the tide is out the mud flats stretch quite a long way. When I go to swim or kayak on low tide , its hard work. Slow and boring and it takes a lot of energy and sometimes, I don’t think I will make it at all.
Life is like that for me now. Seems such a longtime. Just stumbling across the mud flats. I need some breaks.
I think I need to be rid of the Alfa and Kate’s car.
I think I need the caravan cleaned up and cleaned out.
I think I need more money.
I think I need more meetings.
I think I need more things of interest to do in the days.
I think I need to see my son and his daughter.
I think I need my yard and lawn done.
I think I need this flat depression to go away.
I think I need him to talk to and hold.
I think I need the security he provided me.
I think I need relief from this sense of impending doom
I think I need his music.
I think I need to make my boy’s life happy.
The things I got today.
- a lift with Dani
- a meeting
- lunch at Pomagranate Cafe
- a lift home with Kath
- afternoon sleep
- Phil to fix my blown fuse
- a troubled mind and spirit
- computer and facebook and blogs
- a new book by Peter Corris
- AND A WHITE HIBISCUS
- a good bed and bedclothes
- a shack of my very own.
Bedtime approaches and I keep on going through the Mud. The ankle of my soul twisting in a crab hole. Slime and dirt on me. Tuck into a grounded kayak for a night’s sleep and maybe tomorrow the tide will come in again.