THE ONE MORE DAY

My acknowledgement of my own pain and sorrow and struggle does not make me more selfish. It allows me to be merciful with YOU and loving.

I shed tears for ME and I shed tears for YOU.

I come through a day and reach out my hand to help bring you through your day.

I struggle and reach out my hand and YOU take it and bring me through one more day.

12779180_10154093072815649_2079958097902496920_o
LOVE:  MARCH 2016

I will pay loving attention to the details of my day.

THERE you go. Today was just fine. After such a painful day and night yesterday.

I spoke longtime with Arkue.

I arranged a lift to this morning’s NA meeting.

I did the Meeting and came home with 2 newcomers for a little.

I had Maccas with my Girls and Kaybee did some Aldi shopping for me.

I rode the Pony to town .

Just the same ordinary things as yesterday but relief came.

It isn’t easy making the decision about the Medication. My life could hang upon my getting it right.  Nonetheless I have decided not to go to ClinicC unless something dramatically different and more supportive happens. I am afraid of displeasing them and that is NOT a healing environment.  Even Kath told me of Gary G having so adverse a reaction to the Harvoni that he ended up in ICU. I do not trust medicos at that level. Esp ones with specific interests and little experience.

I have not as yet contacted them and will calmly do so at some stage of the week. In MY OWN TIME.

I will pay loving attention to the details of my day.

DSCN0592
THE BUD OF A FRANGIPANI AT THE SHACK MARCH 2016

Reflection For The Day

It’s time for me to realize that my attitude — toward the life I’m living and the people in it — can have a tangible, measurable and profound effect on what happens to me day by day. If I expect good, then good will surely come to me. And If I try each day to base my attitude and point of view on a sound spiritual foundation, I know it will change all the circumstances of my life for the better, too. Do I accept the fact that I have been given only a daily reprieve that is contingent on my spiritual condition?

DSCN0594

AND HERE ARE SOME OF THE THINGS I MANAGED TO ACHIEVE TODAY. THANK GOD.

A sense of just what recovery has brought me over the last 29 years.

The Kids and now the Grandkids.

My love affair with Izzy.

Beautiful Places.

Dozens and dozens of fascinating people.

A life lived in Postcards. Amazing places.

This MIND –  which works. Still works. Didn’t get destroyed.

Kindness and class and dignity.

TICK UP ONE GOOD DAY.

And why in the name of God anyone would expect me to be sane or coping as yet – I do not know. All I know is that I ain’t getting shoved around by noone. No way. No how.

A broken heart. A dead Lover. A near death Coma. The loss of many of my most beloved possession. The loss of a lifestyle we loved and many dreams we had. Loss of my sex life, support and helpmeet. A move of house. Recurrent major ill health and a life threatening disease. Isolation from meetings – and some people expect me to handle it all.  I shall now TREAT MYSELF AS MY OWN BEST FRIEND with lovingkindness and compassion.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s