one day at a time.
Sure has added meaning to me these days. This time is something like it was at the very start in 1987- sitting in Detox at Rozelle Mental Hospital. I cannot afford to allow this Mind to escape. Today is almost done. Fasting from midnight onwards for cataract surgery tomorrow. A greatly intimidating experience. Leaving here early in the morning in Community Transport for Macksville. Last time it was Izzy and me together. That’s what is intimidating me. After 20 years in Recovery of being alone and sole parenting and handlig everything myself, I found my HelpMeet at 58 and life became easy at last and rich. Then it was gone in one day. Now I am the one who has to handle everything again on top of being mega damaged and weary and profoundly afraid.
Nonetheless, much as I would like to curl up in a ball of madness – I won’t. Not tonight. Get clothes together and bag. Be ready early morning and then – just go with it.
Today was not like that. Today was a happy day. I wanted to go to Nambucca AA for Julie’s birthday but I traded it for a day with my Girls which I wanted more. We laughed and shopped and swam. This is my life blood. The pure love of the children.
Clean and sober today.
Did a meme for the Coffs Rally Facebook page.
Will go to work on my Old Proverbial Recovery Blog.
Spoke with Julie and Lissa.
I have eaten and taken antibiotics and drunk Ebor Water.
AND I AIN’T THINKING.
How can 2 little girls make their Grandmother feel so guilt ridden ? All I did was eat 3/4 packet of Doritos and leave the packet where they could see it. Now I feel as though I stole the last morsel from their hungry little mouths. One of them even entered it in my desk diary.
Dependence – Unhealthy or Healthy
We discovered the best possible source of emotional stability to be God Himself. We found that dependence upon His
perfect justice, forgiveness, and love was healthy, and that it would work where nothing else would.
If we really depended upon God, we couldn’t very well play God to our fellows, nor would we feel the urge to rely wholly
on human protection and care. 1. LETTER, 1966 – 2. TWELVE AND TWELVE, p. 116