Don’t feel too bad tonight despite the savage pain. One reason is that I achieved one small switch in my behaviour.
I called Community Transport to see whether I could get a trip to Bellingen tomorrow so that I could watch Saf’s Easter Hat Parade. The lass who answered was abrupt and gave me a straight NO and hung up. Instead of losing the plot , I took a wee bit of time and did some thinking. I was going to just accept it but I could feel another does of Loser kicking in so I called later in the day and was courteous but firm and explained what it was like to be dismissed . 2014 was filled with incidents like that. So – without insulting anyone or being rude or even asking for anything, it was sorted and I have a lift up early in the morning.
The Meals on Wheels remains delicious and healthy and the volunteers were friendly and kind.
Then I went into town to get some tiger balm for the pain in my neck and as I came back past the Lido, Bev was getting out from a swim and she massaged it into my neck for me.
I haven’t kicked up a big stink over the new concrete path and that feels good too.
I’m not so scared tonight and that makes all the difference.
I feel pretty happy. It is also an eclipse of the moon in Libra and my Nikon took some good shots of that.
Bed soon and another John Marsden book which is a curious choice for me. Day done. Thoughts of drinking and drugging have lifted today. All is fundamentally well.
Comfort is a place we can visit often, as often as we need to. Although certain places and objects help comfort us, it is really a place within each of us. Some of us may have thought that comfort was a waste of time, but now we know that there is tremendous power in comfort, the power to heal. We no longer have to deprive ourselves of comfort, of that warm feeling of being nurtured. We can visit it for ourselves; we can take others there with us.
Because you see, I know that his mother loved GoodNight , Irene and my sister loved Camelot. I know dozens of stories about my Mum and my Dad and Susan and Izzy – and I don’t know whether anyone is telling them anymore.
I know that Izzy’s voice in that last week was rolling and golden. I caught the sound of it one day and went in to his music room and told how beautiful it was.
And my sister – well I knew her when she was a little girl. We shared a room for years and years. We rode her motor bike to the Canberra Show a long time back.
My Mum – well she could cook and sew and she don’t remember where she slept when she was a girl. She thinks they must have doubled up in beds.
And my Dad – well he was like me.