BIG GAS HEATER ON. Netflix on TV and the electric blanket for later. Dani takes me to meetings and all in all – things are OK. I am now either fluid filled or have put on too much weight again. That needs attending to.
Hey – you know . I just spin out when I try to make appointments and keep commitments. Some of it is post come and mid grief and some of it is my purely ornery attitude which I have had for many years.
So – I am continuing with what is working for me. First – go to meetings and don’t pick up.
Somehow that clears spaces for other things to come.
I also went for my daily pony ride. My life seems so small at times. Then I make the decision to LOOK. Carefully. At small details. The one rabbit. The pelicans. I go to Spar and I ride the Concrete Path. In my own way I am a defeated woman and have been since the Night of the Valium Wrestle. In the Defeat is Release and Peace of a kind. Don’t use and go to Meetings.
DO THE DAY. CELA SUFFICE.