Just me and the Men at the NA meeting today. I got the council workers to lift the Pony onto the footpath as they continue to pound this wee lane into a street.
Could be Bad.
Could be Good.
Its pretty cold. Snow up on the Tablelands. They say that down South its wild wet and windy and REALLY cold.
Arkue and I spoke last night of Step 1 in depth. Powerlessness and Unmanageability over Everything. Over every tiny little thing. I am surely in one of those phases. Every little thing I have moved towards has seemingly “failed”. That is what has brought me to what Dino calls SWEET SURRENDER. He equated it with the aboriginal initiation rites. From out Moree, he is.
I am in the Sweet Surrender at the moment.
We had a new lad there today. In big shit. If nothing else, growing old with this disease keeps me in touch with the young and with their suffering and their joys. One lad I knew way back, well he is in Brisbane now and doing mighty fine.
One of the Girls has raised her Kids and is a trusted and beautiful mature woman now. Drop dead wonderful.
The Reading for the meeting was about seeing the god in other people and part way through, the various people began to enter my awareness. Marian and Flo and Margaret and Yvonne and David O. Claire Saunders , the Canadian school teacher in Coogee who convinced me I could teach again.
Many, many of them.
People who have shown me the god within.
My family is right up there as well. Lucky woman.
Family of the future.