Category Archives: 2016

I don’t think it was a sign but it was a nice butterfly – I Love Recovery Cafe

Its quiet here tonight and I am now in Mourning. I did a few powerful things today. I rang the Road Traffic Association and found that the Kombi was already transferred to the Girls. I got my electricity payments in order and I had the sense to ring LH in Yamba regarding Centrelink. She handled it all smoothly for me and in minutes. Address changed. Super declared. I think taxes are next and the girls have the papers so I shall just call ATO and ask advice.

Source: I don’t think it was a sign but it was a nice butterfly – I Love Recovery Cafe

Bodhi Hanna Kistner (86): “Only After Sixty My True Life Began” | The Age Of Happiness

Bodhi Hanna Kistner (86): “Only After Sixty My True Life Began”At 60, Bodhi Hanna Kistner moved from Germany to India. Then she started practicing Kyudo, Japanese zen archery. At 70, she became a Kyudo teacher. Now she’s 86 and gives lessons in India, California and Hawaii.— You are 86 now and at 60 you started studying such a tough and physically demanding sport as Kyudo which you’ve been practicing for 25 years now. How did this even happen?— When I moved to India at 60, I was actually planning to practice gardening. But I accidentally met a Kyudo master, visited his class and developed a passion for it. To tell the truth, I was a terrible student. For a long time I did terrible. Even when I followed my teacher to Japan he was very displeased with me. Eventually, he even kicked me out of his class. He said I was hopeless. But I was so attracted to archery because it was not just a sport, but a way of life. Unlike the usual kind of archery, in Kyudo we aim not just to hit the target. A bow is only a tool that allows us to open up, physically and mentally. To make a shot, you have to straighten your back and slow down. If you master this art, which is extremely difficult, you can hit the target even with your eyes closed. It happens by itself. This skill of opening up to the world that I have mastered along with archery is most precious to me. That’s why I continued to practice despite anything. And when I was 70, I started to teach, because with age came an urge to share my knowledge.— What helps you to enjoy your life after fifty?— I think it’s the skill of living in the present that I have mastered in the last 25 years. It is the key to enjoying your life in full. Enjoying life doesn’t mean being unreasonably excited all the time. On the contrary, as I became older I realized that the first step towards finding the joy of life was to accept reality openly and sincerely, accept everything as it is. Reality is not perfect. But it is important to face the truth. This attitude works wonders. By the way, speaking about joys, after sixty I fell in love with dancing.

Source: Bodhi Hanna Kistner (86): “Only After Sixty My True Life Began” | The Age Of Happiness

The Best Thing About Me (12 days shy of 28 years clean and sober) | Addiction Unscripted

NOT ME. FROM THE USA. I am one month short of being 29 years Clean.

Twenty-eight years ago the worst thing about me was that I couldn’t stop using drugs—and stay stopped. My DOC was cocaine, but I was a garbage head; I would partake in whatever was going around, especially if it was free. As a reasonably attractive, thirty-something woman whose motto was I work hard so I deserve to party hardy, drugs were easy to come by. And alcohol, being legal, was the socially acceptable, standby attitude adjuster.I had known for many years that I was addicted to drugs, but I wasn’t ready to do anything about it until my family was forced apart, police and social services were meddling in my affairs, and I was worried about losing my two children. At first, even this was insufficient to cause a change in my behavior. However, within a short time I found myself alone, locked in my master bathroom, free-basing, and not enjoying it at all. In fact, all I could do was cry! This was the beginning of the end for me.My previous attempts at staying clean, usually prompted by severe sickness or humiliation of some sort, always ended with me convincing myself that because I stopped for a period of time and because I had a good job, a nice home and car, I was now in control. Or I’d get drunk, think about using, and go get high. Even though I wasn’t ready to admit I was an alcoholic, I had the desire to stop drinking in order to stay away from my DOC. This was good news when I walked into my first AA meeting; it meant I belonged even though I was uncertain if I was an alcoholic.

Source: The Best Thing About Me (12 days shy of 28 years clean and sober) | Addiction Unscripted

Addiction Unscripted’s Top 25 Recovery Bloggers | Addiction Unscripted

AddictionUnscripted is a platform dedicated to breaking the stigma of addiction and bringing the voices of recovery together in a united front. We know everyone has a story and we’ve created a community that embraces brokenness and allows us to share our truths and use our voices to move the conversation about addiction and alcoholism forward. In writing about our triumphs and tribulations as they relate to addiction, we bring the conversation about addiction into the public eye, and we connect and serve the millions of Americans who are still struggling with their own abuse.The online community of bloggers and sober writers has provided an outlet for the over 24 million Americans who are currently suffering from addiction or alcohol abuse. This number does not even begin to touch those who have been personally affected by addiction. Our choices for the recipients of AddictionUnscripted’s Top 25 Recovery Bloggers of 2016 were based on the originality of content, the frequency of updates, and the voice they carry in the recovery space. The list is as follows, and in no particular order.

Source: Addiction Unscripted’s Top 25 Recovery Bloggers | Addiction Unscripted

Dr. Bill Thomas

The Not-So-Big ApproachThomas has also pioneered small, intimate residences that he calls Green Houses, where residents have their own bedrooms and bathrooms.The result: “Within six weeks, they had to send a truck around to pick up all the wheelchairs,” Thomas told the Post. “You know why most people [in nursing homes] use wheelchairs? Because the buildings are so damn big.”

Source: Dr. Bill Thomas



Today, I somehow changed. As Jefferson Airplane said. I’m just not the same.

I did the NA meeting. Dani D has broken her wrist so John drove us both. Its only in Urunga. Then Kaybee and the Girls picked me up and we did Urunga shops and ate at the bakery and came back to the Shack and did craft stuff and talked.

It was one cold day – for here on the Mid North Coast.

I am still free from the corrosive thread of fear which had me enthralled since the morning I saw him beside the road under the blue sheet.

I feel as if I have been walking shrouded and bemused for a long time. These years have changed me. Somehow.

I will never again be as I once was and I sit now with the wraiths as companions but I am at ease and my spiritual sight is clearer.

So the Kraken awoke. I can be the Kraken’s Daughter.





Bed all day again despite an invite for lunch in North Bello. I said NO which surprised me. I have until now been desperate for any sharing of time in case it were our last together. This time, I felt well and we made plans with them for tomorrow. That is a seemingly small thing but a big one to me.

In the end I stayed home all day long and mostly drowsy and in bed. Before I met Iz, I did a lot of these Shabbos days – deeply meditative and healing.

I realised that way back I ceased doing almost anything because I either got it wrong or – more significantly – did things I wish I didn’t. Like use drugs. Mix with wrong people. I sort of froze into drug addiction. Damage is done and even all these years later , I do not easily DO things I see other people do. Like cook.  Or grow gardens.

Mind you – nor do I wish to.

I have spent another day with a huge reduction in Fear even though it is similar to how I was feeling just before Iz died. Comfortable and hopeful and content. The rug was ripped out from under that one. Nonetheless, it was there today and it is a blessed place to be in.