I’M NOT TRYING TO FORGET YOU ANYMORE

STILL BREATHING

Today, I somehow changed. As Jefferson Airplane said. I’m just not the same.

I did the NA meeting. Dani D has broken her wrist so John drove us both. Its only in Urunga. Then Kaybee and the Girls picked me up and we did Urunga shops and ate at the bakery and came back to the Shack and did craft stuff and talked.

It was one cold day – for here on the Mid North Coast.

I am still free from the corrosive thread of fear which had me enthralled since the morning I saw him beside the road under the blue sheet.

I feel as if I have been walking shrouded and bemused for a long time. These years have changed me. Somehow.

I will never again be as I once was and I sit now with the wraiths as companions but I am at ease and my spiritual sight is clearer.

So the Kraken awoke. I can be the Kraken’s Daughter.

 

JUST BREATHING

I’M NOT TRYING TO FORGET YOU ANYMORE

ON THE MAINLINE

JUST BREATHING

FINDHORN

DEATH HAVE NO FEAR

I’M NOT TRYING TO FORGET YOU ANYMORE

ON THE MAINLINE

JUST BREATHING

FINDHORN

DEATH HAVE NO FEAR

CONSIDERING A MOVE – IN SLOW MOTION

Today, I went to meeting and then to look at the studio and back to Kaybees. I will make no decision tonight. I shall pray and think. Pray and think.

Discuss and clarify.

There are 2 meetings per week in Bellingen and access to 2 in Urunga.

There is close access to my kids and grandkids.

Trouble is – she may be leaving in 10 months.

Perhaps I should take a wee leap into a new world.

GRIEF AS AN OLD MAN SEES IT

The Story of the Taoist Farmer

A day at home. Well not quite. I got a doll for Clarzie for her birthday and a card. Clear decisions. No regrets. Forced once more to go the long way round due to blocked pathway. Pricks they are too because it would have only taken a very little thoughtfulness to have given me access.

COULD BE BAD. COULD BE GOOD.

TODAY THE ALFA WENT. Pat and Col came and took him away. Turned out That Pat has sepsis as well. Comes over ill like I do. Needs heaps of antibiotics. So- he got my favourite car ever for $ 100.

COULD BE BAD. COULD BE GOOD.

And then 2 people sent me messages offering me lifts to Bellingen NA and I accepted. Thank God. I needed it. I enjoyed it.

Amazing to be strong and well enough to do a day like yesterday and then a meeting this evening.

Now its Facetime with Eden.

Making NO judgements on the events of today.

COULD BE BAD BUT IT COULD BE GOOD.

Version 3:

A man who lived on the northern frontier of China was skilled in interpreting events. One day, for no reason, his horse ran away to the nomads across the border. Everyone tried to console him, but his father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a blessing?” Some months later his horse returned, bringing a splendid nomad stallion. Everyone congratulated him, but his father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a disaster?” Their household was richer by a fine horse, which his son loved to ride. One day he fell and broke his hip. Everyone tried to console him, but his father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a blessing?”

A year later the nomads came in force across the border, and every able-bodied man took his bow and went into battle. The Chinese frontiersmen lost nine of every ten men. Only because the son was lame did the father and son survive to take care of each other. Truly, blessing turns to disaster, and disaster to blessing: the changes have no end, nor can the mystery be fathomed.

The Lost Horse,
Chinese Folktale.

http://www.noogenesis.com/pineapple/Taoist_Farmer.html

CHOOSE LIVING

WISDOM

CONSIDERING A MOVE – IN SLOW MOTION

Today, I went to meeting and then to look at the studio and back to Kaybees. I will make no decision tonight. I shall pray and think. Pray and think.

Discuss and clarify.

There are 2 meetings per week in Bellingen and access to 2 in Urunga.

There is close access to my kids and grandkids.

Trouble is – she may be leaving in 10 months.

Perhaps I should take a wee leap into a new world.

GRIEF AS AN OLD MAN SEES IT

The Story of the Taoist Farmer

A day at home. Well not quite. I got a doll for Clarzie for her birthday and a card. Clear decisions. No regrets. Forced once more to go the long way round due to blocked pathway. Pricks they are too because it would have only taken a very little thoughtfulness to have given me access.

COULD BE BAD. COULD BE GOOD.

TODAY THE ALFA WENT. Pat and Col came and took him away. Turned out That Pat has sepsis as well. Comes over ill like I do. Needs heaps of antibiotics. So- he got my favourite car ever for $ 100.

COULD BE BAD. COULD BE GOOD.

And then 2 people sent me messages offering me lifts to Bellingen NA and I accepted. Thank God. I needed it. I enjoyed it.

Amazing to be strong and well enough to do a day like yesterday and then a meeting this evening.

Now its Facetime with Eden.

Making NO judgements on the events of today.

COULD BE BAD BUT IT COULD BE GOOD.

Version 3:

A man who lived on the northern frontier of China was skilled in interpreting events. One day, for no reason, his horse ran away to the nomads across the border. Everyone tried to console him, but his father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a blessing?” Some months later his horse returned, bringing a splendid nomad stallion. Everyone congratulated him, but his father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a disaster?” Their household was richer by a fine horse, which his son loved to ride. One day he fell and broke his hip. Everyone tried to console him, but his father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a blessing?”

A year later the nomads came in force across the border, and every able-bodied man took his bow and went into battle. The Chinese frontiersmen lost nine of every ten men. Only because the son was lame did the father and son survive to take care of each other. Truly, blessing turns to disaster, and disaster to blessing: the changes have no end, nor can the mystery be fathomed.

The Lost Horse,
Chinese Folktale.

http://www.noogenesis.com/pineapple/Taoist_Farmer.html

CHOOSE LIVING

WISDOM