That’s all it takes. Most times. Mixing with other Addicts. Doing some Meetings and generally having a very good time. I went out to the end of the Footbridge before dawn. I live a small life and needs pay attention to the small details or envy and resentment come flooding in.
So I watched the water more carefully this morning. I watched the sun rise. I watched the Walkers. I took a side turn along the lower boardwalk and paused for a while.
I was less panicky and less self – obsessed than I have been.
I got a lift to the NA meeting with Dani. And went for lunch at Pomegranate with a group of 4 women.
Then Dani came home with me and weeded and dug out my garden
BRING ELDERHOOD BACK WITH YOU.
Arkue tells me that that is what I told her after the Coma , the Coma which I called the Dreaming when I woke up.
BRING ELDERHOOD BACK.
Gradually , I am being driven into it. My beloved addict and alcoholic babies. So the cars fail and I am compelled to find other means to travel. And they come. The Pony from Shaz and Ant. The lifts from the Little Ones. 3 loaves of bread from Nera. Gardening and chats.
Today FEELS like the Dreaming . FEELS like what I was shown over there in other places of consciousness. And therefore I am less troubled and less sorrowful and less ashamed.
I am also less SAD – just for tonight.
And in the language of mixed fellowships – my primary purpose is to stay clean and help others attain recovery.
I live a small life and I have paid attention to the small details.
In addition, my electricity bills have been reduced from $63 per month to $38 per month.